don't Panic during a panic attack

How do I calm myself down during a panic attack?

This one’s easy - first, don’t panic. 

Kidding.

But actually, there might be some merit to this - bear with me. 

Let’s take a look at what the heck is going on during a panic attack. The mind is suddenly overwhelmed with fear and anxiety due to an unknown stimulus, the fight or flight receptors are tangled in a race towards opposite directions, the body is unsure of what to do, where to go - oh no, there goes our breathe, oh geez our chest is so tight it might pop, oh my, we’re feeling dizzy and woozy, and the next thing we know, we’re waking up on our marble kitchen tile floor, head throbbing in a bathrobe with sliced capicola in one hand and a half glass of spilled OJ in the other. With some pulp. Some pulp (you’ll have to excuse yet another Sopranos reference, I’m finished with the series, I promise). 

This is not a pleasant experience by any stretch. Akin to feeling like a heart attack. Very scary. 

Now, the panic attacks depicted in Sopranos were on the more severe end, I’d say. Most people aren’t going to experience any fainting spells, but because of the other symptoms, i.e the rapid heart rate, hyperventilation, chest pain, dizziness, etc. - fainting is going to feel like the least of your worries.

I could go into more detail about how we would go about treating the panic attacks - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is pretty useful for this, especially through a psychodynamic lens to help better understand the source of the overwhelming fear you're experiencing and the triggers, etc. But to more directly answer your question - in the moment - what can you do to help calm yourself down? I’d say this: Ground yourself, slowly. 

What does that mean?

Use as many of your senses as you can, to remind your body that it is not, in fact, in any danger, and refocus your attention from the debilitating fear you’re experiencing, to the present moment - whatever you’re doing - it can be anything. 

This could look like keeping a fidget handy, or your keys, or even clothes - anything with some kind of texture or surface that has a change in temperature - cold, warm, etc - again, anything that can grab your attention away from the “oh my god oh my god oh my god” that’s spiraling through your thoughts, and towards “this feels cold, this feels soft, etc. etc. etc.” Rub it, touch it, spin it, twist it, bop it - do whatever you need to do, until the episode subsides. 

Here’s some other things you can do:

Start naming things in the room. Anything and everything, refocus all of your attention on what you’re seeing - and engage your hearing too while you’re at it - say it out loud. Take your time, there’s no need to rush.

Here’s another classic - slow deep breaths: 

I’m sure you’ve seen the cliché breathing into a brown paper bag - this is helpful because it’s using almost all of your senses at the same time - smell, touch, hearing - you may very well even be tasting the texture of the paper in the bag throughout the process. 

Now, you might not have access to a brown paper bag, of course - no problem - just ball your hands, like you would to shout your undying unrequited love to an ex partner boarding a flight across the country, and take slow breaths in and out of them - again, the more you’re engaging your senses the better. 

There are other things like muscle relaxation - creating and relieving tension in your muscles through flexing - though I think this is more helpful when it’s guided - not a personal preference of mine, out in the wild, but something you could look more into and try, why not.

There’s a bunch of other small mindfulness and grounding exercises and games you can try to play and use, but at the end of the day, the overarching goal is this: to over time, recognize that what you’re experiencing is, again, not an actual threat to your life - just a symptom of your fear. Eventually you’ll be able to get to a point where you can trust yourself enough to say, “hey bud, no need to panic, this too shall pass..." Or something like that. 

In a word, the less and less attention you give to the panic, the less and less scary it’ll feel, and with the help of a good therapist you’ll start to better understand where the fear is coming from, so you can face the fear and overcome it, instead of hiding or succumbing to it.

Trust yourself. Trust the process.

I hope this helps. Much love.